Memento Mori: Remember You Are Mortal

“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think” – Marcus Aurelius

Every day that goes by, you become one day closer to your last, and whether that be in 50 years, or 5 years, or 5 days—no one knows. All we know is it will someday come. Someday will be your last. Healthy or ill, young or old, rich or poor; your last day will come.

I became aware of my mortality around the age of 13. I don’t think anything specific triggered it. Instead, it just sort of dawned on me. This will someday end. It terrified me and I thought about it obsessively on and off for years. Existential anxiety and dread would be my constant reminder; Memento Mori—a Latin phrase which means “remember you are going to die” or “remember you are mortal”. Although it was constantly on my mind, I wasn’t thinking about it correctly.

Death terrified me up until I was about 20. I was alleviated by most of the dread when I realized something very simple—death comes whether you fear it or not. It’s so simple that it’s silly, but it helped. Since it became clear that life would end whether I liked it or not, I might as well accept it and stop wasting energy wrestling with it in my head.

Now don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t want to die, and if someone was attempting to beat me to death, I would fight with everything in me to survive. But the immense terror is no longer there. However, it wasn’t until I began reading the Stoics that I realized meditating on your own mortality can be a very positive thing.

“I cannot escape death, but at least I can escape the fear of it.” -Epictetus

Before we get to that, I want to mention something that is frequently left out when discussing mortality. Immortality would be, in all likelihood, extremely dull. You would have an infinite amount of time and would most likely put everything off indefinitely (something many mortal people already do). There would be no urgency to create art or express your love for family or friends. You would wait a few million years simply because you could.

There is something beautiful about fragility, and immortality would eliminate that aspect of life. Parents are constantly worried about their young children, but imagine if their vulnerability was gone—they were 8 feet tall, skin made of steel, never any negative emotions, and they could live forever. There is something off-putting about that idea. It’s as if the fragility adds to the love and beauty.

In the same vein, risk adds to the fulfilling feeling that we get when we overcome obstacles. Without the ultimate risk (death) something would truly be lacking in life.

“Memento mori—remember death! These are important words. If we kept in mind that we will soon inevitably die, our lives would be completely different. If a person knows that he will die in a half hour, he certainly will not bother doing trivial, stupid, or, especially, bad things during this half hour. Perhaps you have half a century before you die—what makes this any different from a half hour?” -Leo Tolstoy

We’ve all heard the following story. Man gets diagnosed with cancer. Doctor tells the man he only has six months to live. The man then reevaluates his life; he ceases to do the things that do not matter to him and begins to do things he has always wanted to do. It’s a cliché story that can be seen in movies like The Bucket List, 50/50, and Joe Versus the Volcano.

However, the diagnosis is unnecessary. You are dying as we speak. You began dying as soon as you were born and since nobody told you, you may lack the urgency to live. You won’t live forever, so stop moving through life as if you will. As Marcus Aurelius said “Don’t behave as if you are destined to live forever. What’s fated hangs over you. As long as you live and while you can, become good now”.

The knowledge that your time here is limited can be the catalyst to doing what the man with the cancer diagnosis inevitably does. Assess what is important in your life and what isn’t. Get rid of what isn’t important. Strive towards what is. Death will illuminate only the things which matter.

Remind yourself every day that this ride is temporary. It will make every moment appear to be the miracle that it really is. Remind yourself that those who you love are also mortal. Let that dictate how you treat them and how much attention you pay them. The next hug you give them could be the last, and surely one day it will be.

“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing.” -Seneca

Things that can be done today, should be done today. Remember that tomorrow is uncertain.

I have nothing new or unique to say about death, but thankfully many great men throughout history have given us some insights. Here are some of them.

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Some quotes on death:

“Stop whatever you’re doing for a moment and ask yourself: Am I afraid of death because I wont be able to do this anymore?” -Marcus Aurelius

“It is not death that a man should fear, but rather he should fear never beginning to live.” -Marcus Aurelius

“If you don’t know how to die, don’t worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don’t bother your head about it.” -Michel de Montaigne

“This is our big mistake: to think we look forward to death. Most of death is already gone. Whatever time has passed is owned by death” -Seneca

“You are scared of dying—and tell me, is the kind of life you lead really any different than being dead?” -Seneca

“To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not be the greatest of all blessings for a man, yet men fear it as if they knew that it is the greatest of evils.” -Socrates

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” -Steve Jobs

“Death. The certain prospect of death could sweeten every life with a precious and fragrant drop of levity.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

Memento Mori