My little sister always laughs at me when I talk about “self-imposed suffering”. In her defense, it is a silly sounding idea, especially to someone who is sixteen. I am almost certain that I would laugh at the phrase six years ago as well. Self-imposed suffering sounds like something only a crazy person or a masochist would advise to people. I don’t believe I’m crazy and there’s no way I would give my little sister masochistic advice. Instead, I believe that scheduling suffering into your daily or weekly schedule is essential to the building of ones character (something that no one talks about anymore).
It’s probably best that I begin by explaining what I mean when I say “self-imposed suffering”. Self-imposed suffering is doing things that you don’t want to do, that cause physical, mental, and emotional pain or discomfort. I think by using this definition, we eliminate the ability to classify it as masochism (because masochism is defined by pleasure or sexual gratification). Some examples of self-imposed suffering are exposure therapy, workouts that you don’t enjoy, fasting, and what the stoics called negative visualization. Put simply, negative visualization is meditating on negative futures that could happen (such as becoming homeless or losing a loved one).
Now that I have defined it, the paramount question remains. Why the fuck would anyone purposely schedule suffering into their day? Shouldn’t we be putting all of our effort into avoiding suffering? I would say “no” to that second question, because some suffering is unavoidable. Catastrophe will strike you in the future You or a family member will get sick, you will have economic troubles, and even the richest people in the world can do nothing about their loved ones dying. The purpose of self-imposed suffering is to acquaint oneself with it before it comes, for the trained snake handler does not fear snakes.
Exposure Therapy- a technique in behavior therapy to treat anxiety disorders. Exposure therapy involves exposing the target patient to the anxiety source or its context without the intention to cause any danger. Doing so is thought to help them overcome their anxiety or distress.
In addition to acquainting oneself with discomfort, self-imposed suffering has the added benefit of making the individual stronger and more courageous. Viewing oneself overcoming fears and discomforts, the individual begins to see what she is capable of. She may be afraid of heights, and therefore thinks it is impossible for her to handle looking down from a 10-story building. However, she may look down from the second story, and seeing that she was capable of that, she may move to the third, and so on.
“Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: “Is this the condition that I feared?” It is precisely in times of immunity from care that the soul should toughen itself beforehand for occasions of greater stress, and it is while Fortune is kind that it should fortify itself against her violence. In days of peace the soldier performs maneuvers, throws up earthworks with no enemy in sight, and wearies himself by gratuitous toil, in order that he may be equal to unavoidable toil. If you would not have a man flinch when the crisis comes, train him before it comes.“
Seneca the Younger
My little sister sent me a text a couple weeks ago after reading one of my blog posts that read “What can I do in order to practice enduring pain? I need suggestions”. I gave her a couple suggestions, but I will elaborate on the specific things I do to schedule in suffering.
Well, for one, this. I absolutely did not want to write today and I had no idea what I was going to write about. But I forced myself to sit down in front of my screen, and here we are. (Sort of a joke but also serious)
Four times a week I go running, for the sole purpose that I fucking hate it. There is no part of me that enjoys running and there isn’t really a reason for me to do it other than to suffer. It doesn’t align with my goals (I want to get bigger not lose weight) and there’s no practical reason for me to be running 4 miles a day. I do it simply to enter “the pain cave” every once in a while and to build up the discipline of doing something I don’t enjoy doing.
Once a month I fast for 24-36 hours (may increase it at some point). Going without food for over 24 hours is a good way to test your mind. During the last couple hours, it is difficult to think about anything that isn’t food.
Once a week I get in an ice bath for 5-10 minutes. A frozen hell.
In addition to the above mentioned things, I will occasionally spend time doing negative visualization, especially if something is stressing me out or bothering me. Tim Ferris has a good video on negative visualization that I will link at the bottom.
I’ll conclude this post with a quote from the king of self-imposed suffering, David Goggins.
“It’s so easy to be great nowadays, because everyone else is weak. If you have ANY mental toughness, if you have any fraction of self-discipline; The ability to not want to do it, but still do it; If you can get through to doing things that you hate to do: on the other side is greatness.”
David Goggins
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